Stupid Instructions

I remember reading a thing in the paper where they wrote a list of stupid instructions that they found in various places. Here are a couple of my favourites:

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area that you have just bombed" - From a US Air Force Manual

"Aim towards the enemy" - Instructions printed on a US Army rocket launcher

"Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing" - On the back of the pilot's seat in a NATO aircraft

"Do not swallow" - On a Kingsize mattress

AND NOW MY FAVOURITE!!!

"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly" - One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp in the USA

im not sure what its about, can u run it by me again

They are all instructions that have been found in a number of different places. Like telling people how to use things and saftey warnings. I just thought that I would provide some humour to the forums.

I have always like the one in the men's restroom - DO NOT EAT THE BLUE MENT.

We're not supposed to eat the blue mint? Why? I eat it every time. I thought it was to give me something delicious to eat on while I use the bathroom.

Although, it doesn't taste that good...

It takes genius to come up with that. I think it would better with "proceed uphill flashly."

I think I like the one saying

"ICE NOT FOR BEVERAGES"

lol